


Where Have You Been?

by AkisMusicBox, TataBanchou



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Angst, Don't copy to another site, Honestly this one is a bit rough for me, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, On the Run, One-Sided Attraction, Paranoia, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-09 12:40:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20994953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkisMusicBox/pseuds/AkisMusicBox, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TataBanchou/pseuds/TataBanchou
Summary: Akihiko and Hamuko are done. They're done trying to maintain perfect grades during the day while being glorified soldiers at night. They're tired of the Kirijo Group pulling their strings, they're tired of the Chairman's puns, they're just always tired. The last straw is when Ikutsuki tries to add a child to their ranks - the child that S.E.E.S left orphaned. They argued against it, but Ikutsuki wouldn't back down. The evening Mitsuru brought her father to the dorms to appeal to the two of them, they've vanished, with their possessions with them.S.E.E.S. members have seen brief sightings of the two off and on, but more than a quick glance and they're gone. Strega was already proving to be a thorn in their sides, but recent thefts around the city seem suspiciously like them to be attributed to the cult. Mitsuru resorts to recruiting Shinjiro to help track them down. She's desperate - they can't explore Tartarus without the Wild Card, but even since Shinjiro left S.E.E.S., he's been an unknown quantity himself.





	1. She Made Them For You

**Author's Note:**

> Me and TataBanchou spent 10/4 coming up with what it'd be like if Hamuko and Akihiko 'broke bad' and decided to abandon S.E.E.S, and somehow it became an AkiHamShinji fic. Not gonna lie, it's a bit of a bummer in comparison to my usual stuff.

_This goose chase is getting pretty old already,_ Shinjiro thought as he rubbed his hands together and shivered. The weather was getting colder, which put a time limit on how long he could stand scraping the city for those two. He was able to cross off a lot of locations based on Junpei's last sighting - they were both wearing fairly clean, well-kept clothes. They didn't look like hobos on the street or runaways in ripped school uniforms. Junpei swore he wouldn't have even noticed if he hadn't have heard Hamuko's laugh - that could catch your attention even in busy traffic. _"Was she looking thin? Has she been eating?"_ Shinjiro had wanted to ask but didn't. He didn't trust Akihiko to bring home actual food for her.

But they were clearly safe, rested, and had running water, so it had to be some sort of apartment complex somewhere in the vicinity that would rent out to minors. Once he figured out _where_ then at least he could search indoors most of the time. His hands sounded like sandpaper when he rubbed them together. _ Maybe that idiot's girlfriend's gang is the one harboring them now, now that I've pissed them off. _ Junpei swore up and down that she'd have told him if that were true. Shinjiro could tolerate two more days of fruitless searching before trying to track down Jin or Takaya himself. _ Or maybe only one, if whatever concoction Fuuka tried to make is as terrible as last night's. What's that girl's deal, anyway? _ Fuuka had offered to explore with him, hoping Lucia's power would make the search easier, but Shinjiro had refused. _For being so tiny, she still stands out too much. _So instead, she elected to greet him every evening with a hot meal. _ I wish she'd just stick to microwaving a Cup Noodle or something, god. _

When he reached a dead end, he sighed and pulled his map out of his jacket pocket and scribbled out this section of the street. As he was studying the map to find the next best route to check, a voice called to him that made him crush it.

"A bit chilly, isn't it, Shinji?"

He turned to see that _absolute asshole_ standing there as if he hadn't been missing for weeks on end. Clad in a black overcoat that made him look like your friendly, neighborhood hitman, Akihiko smiled as he fished in his pocket.

"'Chilly' is gonna be an understatement for what you feel when Mitsuru freezes your ass for good. Where the _hell_ have you been?"

Akihiko furrowed his brow and stopped his searching. "Here, in the city. We've seen you guys, we keep tabs. We're just not a part of _that_ anymore."

"That isn't a fucking choice. The Dark Hour comes out every night, and lives are at stake," he growled Mitsuru's words, a bitter taste coating his tongue. "And you guys know that we can't go in without her, so don't act like it'll all just _go away._"

He rolled his eyes, his temper starting to tick up. _Good._ "We're not! We're just _done_ being lied to, and pushed around. Until the Kirijo Group starts telling the truth and listens to what we have to say, we're _out._ That's all."

"Just 'cause you two are the fucking muscle doesn't mean you've got the right to call shots. This thing is huge, and -"

Akihiko remembered what he was doing and pulled out a pair of gloves. They were simple, black, and knit, fairly tidy except for a few bumps here and there. "Here," he said. "She made them for you."

Shinjiro clenched his jaw. "The fuck'd you say?"

"Hamuko. She knew you'd be getting cold." He walked towards Shinjiro until the gloves were within his reach. Shinjiro wanted to back away, but he couldn't make himself do it. He wanted to look at the gloves.

"Shouldn't she have made you gloves?" he said gruffly.

"I have gloves," he said, wiggling his leather-clad fingers. "She's making me a hat. You needed gloves, so she made them."

They looked...soft. And on further inspection, the yarn wasn't all black, but almost a slightly speckled appearance that gave the simple knit-work some visual appeal. "I need to be inside, so why doesn't she just invite me in if she cares so much?"

"We're not living here," he said simply. "And she does want to see you. We just need to be careful. Need to make sure the Princess isn't gonna come roaring around the corner on her motorcycle when you give her the signal."

Shinjiro snorted. "When's the last time you called her that?"

"It's been a while since she's acted like a proper Princess. Ordering her loyal subject around. She sent you out without gloves or even a hot drink." He offered the gloves again. "She misses you. I miss you." His voice dropped. "I've missed you for a while. But, we're figuring it out, together. I'll text you a time and location in two days, and we can talk about it some more, together. Just the three of us."

Shinjiro grabbed the gloves. _Really soft._ "And what makes you think I won't send that info right along to Her Highness?"

"Because Hamuko will run. And because I think you miss her too." Akihiko gave him a small wave. "Go get something to eat. You look thin."


	2. Maybe It's About Time

The address he received was of an empty apartment in a rundown building near the west edge of town. Considering that there were two old cardboard boxes and one shithead in the middle of the room, it wasn't where they were living either, but Shinjiro couldn't help but scoff. "Nice digs. No wonder you won't turn on the lights."

"Electricity's not working, hence why it's not rented out," Akihiko explained, still wearing that stupid-ass coat. The coat was fairly necessary though, considering the window to the fire escape was wide open, letting in not only the streetlight but the cold. He clenched his fists that were jammed in his pockets, but the chill wasn't unbearable. Those gloves proved to be fairly warm if not a little cumbersome - they were a bit loose around the fingers. _It's not like she could take measurements, so she estimated big. _ "Where is she?"

"Keeping watch," he explained. "I wanted to talk to you first." Shinjiro groaned, and Akihiko held a hand out. "Please. It's not even that we don't trust you, it's just...you could have been followed."

_Fuck. Why hadn't I thought of that?_ He assumed Mitsuru had trusted her, but even if she did, that didn't mean Ikutsuki or her father did. _I've jumped ship once before, it'd make sense._ "Well, get to talkin'. This is exactly how horror movies start out, ya know?"

"Promise it'll be more boring than that," he chuckled. "We're just fed up, Shinji. S.E.E.S is putting their asses on the lines, yet we're not allowed to know exactly what's going on? We're just like child soldiers. And then they decided to put an actual child on the team, so we had to go."

"Yeah, you made it clear how fed up you were on the console in the command room," he said, shaking his head. "What the hell did you use, a tire iron?"

"Baseball bat. And that was all Hamuko's doing. She found...a video. Actually, lots of videos. There's cameras around the dorm, yeah? But not just in the common areas and outside. In dorms."

Shinjiro winced. Akihiko continued, "When Hamuko found them, she tried to turn them off and figure out who had been using them, but according to Ikutsuki, those cameras haven't been working for years, so it had to just be a glitch. A week later, she finds them on again, and there's recordings, too. Someone's controlling them. She kept trying to sabotage them, even had Fuuka take a look, and no good. So instead, she gets crafty. She turned some of them _on _and caught Ikutsuki talking about how Ken was a prime candidate for battle specifically because of his trauma. That this was an unprecedented opportunity to test the powers of Persona specifically because he could be confronted with the _cause_ of his trauma." Akihiko clenched his jaw. "They wanted to pull Ken in, then pull you in and tell him what happened. To see what would _happen._"

Shinjiro's blood boiled. "Who the fuck are _they?_ All you have right now is that Ikutsuki's a fuck, but you don't even have that because you destroyed the recordings!"

"She took backups, Shinji! We have multiple copies!"

"So what? We were fucked kids too, and you were just fine with the situation," he growled. "You never questioned their methods before. What's so different now?"

Akihiko stared at him incredulously. "What are you _talking _about? Who the hell knows what would have happened if Ken found out about the accident? You were trying to save him and your underdeveloped Persona overreacted. What if the kid thinks he wants revenge, and his untrained Persona tries to give it to him?! It could kill you both!"

"Maybe it's about time," he muttered.

"Fuck off! It's not even just that. Hamuko had been in the hospital for _ten days_ and the day she wakes up, it's suddenly okay to put her on the front lines. And why aren't there any adults on S.E.E.S? Why was Strega just tested with and then _given freedom to roam around the city?_ To pass out untested drugs that will kill people?!"

That did seem a bit suspicious. Why was Strega even permitted to _exist _for this long? It's not like S.E.E.S. had ever had a hard time finding them - they always seemed conveniently aware of their operations according to Mitsuru's reports, and they operated a well-known revenge website. How could they possibly be that hard for the Group's forces to track down?

"But what is this stunt going to even _do?_ You think Takeharu Kirijo is gonna just cave and negotiate with you for power and secrets? Fat chance."

Akihiko smiled. "Hamuko's better at explaining that bit. But we do have a goal in mind. We just need time. By taking off and wrecking shop, there's no _point_ in adding Ken to S.E.E.S. You can't go to Tartarus without comms equipment and a Wild Card. So right now, our main objective is keeping you safe."

"My _hero_." He rolled his eyes.

Akihiko's face sobered. "Shinji, you don't understand. Mitsuru was a test subject. Strega were the guinea pigs who survived terrible experiments. What about us?" His voice softened. "We were children from trauma, too. But why...did it turn out this way? Why is Castor so hard to control, when Polydeuces -"

"Don't brag now, asshole."

"I'm _not," _he pleaded, biting his lip. "I...Twin studies are the gold standard in science. But if you couldn't find twins, why not two kids who went through the same trauma together? What if you poked one of them harder than the other?"

"It's not the _same. _Miki wasn't my sister. You got poked harder, and you still came out better, that's a shit study."

"She didn't have to be your sister for you to love her like one. She was our heart. Like...when we were kids. We'd squabble and we'd fight and we'd goof around and break things, and Miki always made it better. We were always _whole_ when she was with us. She was the heart of our family." Akihiko nodded to himself. "Yeah, we still stood by each other's sides, but something was missing. We had to guard ourselves against the world, and each other. We developed Personas. I'm afraid...I'm afraid they might have experimented on us. What if they fucked with you in a way they didn't me?"

Shinjiro shook his head. "That's just _paranoid_, now, calm your tits."

"I'm not saying I know it for sure! I'm just saying is possible. I'm just saying _I don't know_ and until we find out more from the Group, I'm not risking it." Akihiko approached him, similar to the last time, except the only thing he had to offer was a pleading look. "Please. Just listen to her. Listen to what she has to say and come with us. I get it now. We're all supposed to be together. The three of us."

A lump formed in Shinjiro's throat. "Three? The fuck?"

"Me, you, and Hamuko. We can face it all, together. We can be _whole_ together."

"Where the _fuck_ has this conversation gone, Aki? Now I know you're properly crazy. What the hell did she say to you?"

That stung Akihiko. He winced. "I did the saying. I was the one freaking out over you. That we couldn't risk you with the Group. I wanted you with us."

Out of the window, they heart the muffled _thunk_ of feet hitting the fire escape. "Hate to break in, boys, but I'm officially freezing. Mind if we switch?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pllleeaessee let me know if there's any additional tags that are needed for this fic. Honestly, it was a stressful one for me to write, so I could totally see where reader's might find stressors in it, and I want to be as clear as possible what they're getting in to.


	3. The Typical Questions

She was clad in a black puffer coat that reached her knees, cream-colored socks covering her legs. Black ear warmers kept her ears protected, but her nose was visibly red from the cold, and ponytail windswept. She slid in the window as Akihiko pulled his hat out of his pocket and jammed it on his head. She looped her scarf off of her neck and around his, tucking it in just right. "Take your time," Akihiko said as he slipped out the window and up out of view.

"Cute," Shinjiro sneered. "Two idiots, one scarf."

She shrugged and made herself comfortable on a box. "Still working on the other one."

Shinjiro didn't think a fitted coat was really appropriate for a clandestine mission like they were trying to pull off, but he doubted Hamuko would listen to him. "Since when do you knit?"

"Since I abandoned my schoolwork, leadership positions, and various jobs in order to drive home a point. I'm going a bit stir crazy inside, but security, ya know?" Her hands were still jammed in her pockets while she tried to blow her bangs out of her eyes. It took more strength then he'd like to admit to keep from doing it for her.

"You gonna elaborate on that shit, then? Aki's acting like you've got some master scheme, so my guess is the monologue's gonna take a while."

She pointed a foot at the box a few feet away from her. "Seat?" He shook his head. She rolled her eyes.

"Against my better judgment, yes. But Aki says you need to be 'in', so I will. We want the truth, and we're not playing by the Group's rules to get it anymore. I believe he's told you plenty of reasons why we don't just want to trust them blindly anymore?"

Shinjiro waved her along, which was a mistake because she got a look at the gloves. "Dammit! But I knew making them to Aki's size wouldn't have been right. You're bigger, so they had to be longer. I'll have to try again."

"I'm gonna start calling in the cavalry if you don't get to it," he groaned.

She smirked knowingly. It pissed him off. "No, you're not."

"No, 'cause I'm going to throw you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and haul you to the dorms myself at this rate."

She snorted as she pulled her own gloves off. "Oookay, okay. Let's _pretend_ I wouldn't fight you. If you tried to run off with me, Aki's after you in an instant to kick your ass. He doesn't even have to win, he just has to give me a chance to escape. That's such an empty threat, try again." She rubbed her hands together and pressed them against her nose. "Plus, you're not the type to just take off with a woman against her will. Especially when she's finally exerting her will, herself."

He cocked his head ever so slightly to the side. She continued, "I removed myself from the situation to get leverage. I'm the Wild Card. I'm not an idiot. The Group has ideas about what they want me to do, S.E.E.S wants to see me back to storm the haunted house, and Strega would kill to have my power jump over to their side. _One _of these routes is going to get to the truth about it all. The Group will either play ball, or someone on the team's gonna cave and help, or Strega's gonna work their magic. I'm a woman wanted, Shinjiro. But my trust doesn't come without proof of _why_ I should trust anymore."

He narrowed his eyes. "Why's this shit making you two paranoid _now?" _

She unzipped the top of her coat. "There's poison flowers in my garden, Shinjiro. Pharos never lies. At first, I thought it was just the Shadows he was talking about, but not anymore. One in my backyard, three in the other." She nodded to herself as if Shinjiro was supposed to know what that meant. "Three is easy. Three is Strega. But just because a plant is poisonous, doesn't mean it doesn't have uses. Despite what Chidori says, she loves Junpei and she wants to protect him. Through her, Jin. And through Jin's network of hackers, we'll get the truth."

Shinjiro recoiled. "Takaya's dog? You think _Jin's_ just gonna pony up top secrets to you?" He couldn't stand how cocky her expression had grown as she leaned forward.

"Jin thinks the truth is going to covert me. He's a believer who's willing to find the facts, but I'm confident that information is going to shatter his faith. I made the first step by no longer blindly following the Kirijo Group, so he knows there's a middle ground to jump to."

He shook his head incredulously. "So your big fucking plan is relying on drug dealers and murderers to give you your proof. Fuck, you're just as loony as Aki."

She stood abruptly and balled her fists. "They're Persona-users, too! They were tested on and tortured and then they were thrown out like garbage! And lately, they've felt like they're being tugged around as well, by their suppliers, by the fact that they always _just_ find us but can never stop us, and they're as hungry for the truth as us."

"Us?! You _abandoned_ S.E.E.S.! You're still counting yourselves in it, that's fucking _rich._"

Red was rising in her face as she clenched her jaw. "We'll be _back._ Back when we have the truth, and I can lead will confidence in our mission, and proper _control._ I can't protect everyone if I don't know the unadulterated truth about the situation. And I will no longer live not knowing if I'm sending us straight into a trap." He'd never seen her properly angry before. Agitated, sure, when an enemy got the best of her. Frustrated when petty student complaints took up her time at student council. Exasperated when Junpei and Yukari got into their typical snark fests. Never pissed off through. A fire lit in her eyes that he had to look away from.

"When? 'Cause the Full Moon's coming up and the town's fucked if that Shadow's left to run amok all night. You're risking lives if you're not around to lead."

"Aw, shucks, Shinjiro. Just joined and you miss me already. Don't worry, plan's already in motion. All I have to do is buy time for Jin's people. That's all we've really _been_ doing, every time you guys think you've found our trail. Just a wild goose chase as a diversion. The more everyone frets about the Wild Card, the less they focus on firewalls, or what suspicious thumb drives are plugged into what ports." She shucked her coat and ear warmers off, threw them on her box, and started pacing. _ Pink. A pink goddamn dress. You don't monologue like a villain in a pink dress. _ But there she was, and there she did. "There's too many loose ends. Too much that isn't clear. I was on that bridge that evening, you know? The explosion? That's why my parents died. That's why I've been shuffled from orphanage to orphanage constantly, and look at that! I was at the epicenter of the blast and I'm this!" She pointed at herself, her chest getting redder the more she ranted. "How far back do these _stress tests_ go back? What's intentional, and what was capitalization on human suffering? And where are those suppressants coming from - if it's not the Group, it's someone close to it. There are too few people in the world who'd have the knowledge and the technology. None of this is acceptable anymore._The school they built is literally the nest!_ There is something _behind_ this all, Shinjiro, and I'm not being drip-fed this information anymore."

She cupped the back of her neck and looked up at him through her bangs, expectantly.

"What?" he grunted, having to look at her ear instead.

"Go ahead, ask me."

"Ask what?"

She threw her neck back as if pleading with the ceiling. "I thought you wanted my monologue to be quick; the typical questions tend to speed that along."

"Answering your own damn questions would be quicker."

She straightened up and held her hands up. "Fine. Because Aki said you're non-negotiable. Not riskable. Your desire for self-preservation is not where it needs to be, so we can't risk a calculated approach with your safety. Everyone else is fairly in the clear now, except for you. Aki realizes now that the way the accident was handled was wrong, so now, he's desperate to mitigate the damage it did. And...he misses you."

Shinjiro's stomach rolled. "Fuck," he spit, this time with venom. "How'd you know?"

"Know what?"

He glared. "Don't make me say it. It's fucked up as is."

She pouted. _Fuck, she's infuriating._

"That I love you," he said to the ground.

"You don't love me," she corrected in a way that made him nearly punt the box. "You _can't_ love me because you don't know me. Not like Aki knows me. And Aki's let me get to know him. His hopes, his dreams, his fears. You keep me at a distance. You don't trust me."

"You already love him, so isn't that the better option?" he sneered.

"But you love Aki," she said, undeterred. "You two are so close, it's like staring into a lamplight. You're way too close, and you're always blinded by it. You bumble around when you try, and get frustrated and walk away, only to come back. You two trust each other implicitly."

He grabbed his head._This is way too like that shit Aki was saying. _"And how do _you_ think this shit is all related? How does any of this mess make any sense in that head of yours?"

She took a deep breath and took a step forward. "Listen...its been a long road, for Aki to understand his feelings. And it's hard to quantify still, but we're both in there, above it all. And he loves fiercely and proudly and he just doesn't want to lose those he holds so dear again. So, if opening up my heart to someone whose already proven himself to the man I love, who's been loyal to him even in his darkest hour...that doesn't seem to be such a bad proposition, does it?"

She cocked her head to the side slightly as his palms sweat. "I like you Shinjiro. You're strong, and you're loyal, and you're brave. You've got a good head on your shoulders, if a bit dark, but that just means when you smile, it's all the brighter. I won't lie and say I already love you, but...I don't think I've ever had the chance too. Aki's asking for the chance, that's all."

As his limbs started to buzz, she closed the space between them, only an arm's reach away. Shinjiro swallowed hard. "You're...this is how you're trying to seduce me? To - to leave S.E.E.S., to let your plan play out, you're trying to make me become...what, second in your harem? Who the fuck's next?"

She scowled at him. "Deflect. You're awesome at it, keep it up. This is about Aki. You know as well as I do how big his heart is, and how he's fought to squash it, but I'm not letting him do that anymore." She took a deep breath and touched his arm gently. "A chance. I know it sounds crazy to try and figure _this_ out at the same time as the Kirijo fiasco, but...I'm done with compromises. I'm going one hundred percent towards the right things." Her eyelids fluttered. "So yeah. This is me, seducing you."

His body was being seared by fire. Hell was already dragging him down for the way heat coiled in his belly at this girl who was nothing but willpower in a skirt. _She's Aki's. I can't touch her._

But she was touching him, and even through layers of fabric, it was...comforting. That piece of his arm felt like home, while the rest of his body was being thrown in jail.

"You said it yourself, I know him well," he rasped as he saw goosebumps start to rise on her arms. "He won't share. It's not gonna work."

"This meeting would not have happened if I wasn't convinced he was willing. Hours on hours of talking about what this means. And he's in. One hundred percent. So am I." She tilted her head and looked up at him. "I can prove it to you. Kiss me."

"I-isn't the seducer supposed to do that?" Again, his body was ready to flee, but her lips were slightly windburnt from her time as the lookout. He wanted to know what that'd feel like against his.

"I don't think that's how you'd be seduced. Then again, this is my first time. Seducing, ya know? No instruction manuals on it."

His body was shaking. He was ready to throw her on that cardboard box and teach them both how _stupid_ it was to try and pull a stunt like this on a starving man, but he figured there was a faster way to get the fight started. He yelled, "I'm gonna kiss your girlfriend, dumbass!"

"Get to it!" was the reply. _Fucker,_ he thought with a snarl, and pulled her into him, one hand burying into her hair, the other pulling her hips into his. Her lips were rough as he expected, but it was a nice contrast to how soft she was everywhere else. Curves. She was nothing but curves, even in the way she moved her hand along his neck. She stood on her toes and pulled him down towards her to get more leverage, so he pressed into her harder, tongue darting in to find hers. Goosebumps trailed up his arm as she ran a hand along it, and the way her mouth demanded his kept him from getting a proper breath in. She nipped his lip for a moment and gave it a tug, which prompted the hand in her ponytail to grip for dear life. Finally, he decided that if he was damned, he'd at least enjoy himself before he died, and slid his other hand on her ass. The smallest gasp escaped her, but not surprise, it was _pleasant_ surprise. _She likes it, she fucking _likes_ me touching her. _When her breathing started to get ragged, he pulled away and they both panted for the moment.

She wasn't mad. She wasn't confused or betrayed. She was...happy. Relaxed. And...slightly disappointed. But not too disappointed because Shinjiro's hand still was firmly holding her bottom, and she had her answer. Seduction equals success. He'd be kissing her again, and allegedly Akihiko was going to not kill him for it. They untangled from each other as Shinjiro started to accept just how he had cast his die, and she hollered to Akihiko to come down. He did, and his nose was the same kind of red hers had been before. She gave him a quick peck on the nose as he shook off the cold.

"I lied. I made out with your girlfriend."

More curious than anything, Akihiko prompted him, "She's pretty good at it, yeah?"

"Yeah."

He studied Akihiko. He'd seen him in all kinds of anger. Outrage, anguish, annoyed, dismayed, barely repressed, very repressed, but...none of those were it. Relief. He was relieved. _ Relieved that I wasn't offended. Relieved that gay panic didn't set in and somehow this...this is a thing that isn't repulsive. _ But Aki could never be repulsive, not in that way. He didn't have curves, but he did have that _fucking look_ in his eye. That look that told you things were okay. Don't panic. This is a _good thing._ And if that didn't feel like home to Shinjiro, then he didn't know what did.


	4. Traitorous

He couldn't quite make himself go full-on traitor yet, but he promised them he'd think on it, and they seemed happy enough with that response. It was obvious why - he wasn't going to rat on them. He knew Mitsuru wouldn't see it that way - concealing information like that would be traitorous, but somehow he felt that his presence at the dorms still counted for something. At least, not a dereliction of his duty. If things truly went bad, he'd be there to fight. _ And, I could call them. They'd come. I know they would, they won't leave S.E.E.S. out to dry. _

His walk back to the dorms felt hollow, and he realized he should have taken more from them. The location of their hideout, a way to track down Jin, some of the recordings, the feeling of his cheek under his palm.

_Her cheek,_ he corrected, but then wavered. Maybe he should have kissed Akihiko. _ Right in front of her. She's got to be the more deadly of the two of them, no doubt. And nothing's scarier than a woman scorned. _ If that whole _arrangement_ was truly acceptable, the proof of it would be with her.

_ Maybe I can convince them to come back. They've got a lot of information to start with, it might be enough to sway the team before Mitsuru's father catches wind. _ He had time, he realized now. He could do this. He could convince them that there's a way to come clean before the mission was completed, and they could come home. _But then how does...that work?_ It turned his stomach to try and think about which piece would be least palatable to the team, but it would be selfish to not try and bring them home at this point. _ Wherever they are, it can't be as safe as the dorms, surrounded by Persona-users. _

He was greeted with a bowl of some sort thin, tan soup and a questioning look. The soup, some attempt at miso, came from Fuuka, who gave him an earnest smile. "I think it's best for me to focus on basics. Wha-what do you think?"

He wondered how long she had to have been keeping it warm, but otherwise, it was good. Nothing astounding, but nothing worse than what he'd had in a restaurant. "Good job," he said. "Once you feel comfortable with the basics, it's a lot more natural to try something new." Maybe it was just the contrast to her teal hair, but she looked beet red at the comment. He was about to ask if she felt okay, but Mitsuru decided to take over.

"The weather's getting colder, Shinjiro. I'm starting to think it may be wise to increase the number of people searching. The cold weather won't be good for you or them. Father agrees, and is willing to lend us some of his professionals." Her gaze felt more like an analysis. He hadn't felt so scrutinized since he was at the orphanage, but he knew his typical retreat to his room from that time wouldn't cut it.

"I really think it'll draw too much attention. There's not even snow in the forecast, so just...like give me a week."

"Very well," she agreed, though there was nothing accepting about the tone.

Fuuka nodded to herself. "I'm sure I can come up with a week's worth of basic meals. I think I found a website that'll be perfect to get recipes from."

"You really don't have to do that, Yamagishi. Don't you have homework?"

She bit her lip. "Without Hamuko, I'm the only member of the cooking club, so...it's perfectly acceptable for me to tweak the activities for the time being. Until everything's back to normal."

He couldn't stand to see her look so defeated. He nearly said, _"Then fuck Hamuko, I'll join myself," _but that really wouldn't solve the problem. He couldn't even think the words _"fuck Hamuko" _ without remembering that tiny moan she made a few hours ago. _Dammit, damn you Aki, and go straight to hell, Hamuko._

"A week. You'll have your club member back in a week."

* * *

The thing that people don't realize about having very few personal possessions was just how easy it was to tell if someone's been rifling through them. The smallest things out of place, or moved to the side could raise an eyebrow. Life at the orphanage told him that the motivation was usually money, but ninety percent of the people who attended Gekkoukan could never have claimed to need money so badly as to steal it. Shinjiro had been stolen from before, and usually, the thefts made sense. It was easy to track down the offender and take it back, or just send a threatening message if he felt the person needed it more than him.

But the only thing anyone with access to this dorm could ever need from him was the occasional meal or someone to reach something off of a high shelf. Certainly, nobody could need any of his possessions. He didn't even count the Evoker or his ax as one of his possessions - they were given to him by the Group, for use at their instruction.

It didn't take long for him to pack his possessions in a duffel bag. He even debated about taking his Evoker, but they took something of his, so he'd take something of theirs. The room barely changed from how it looked before he moved in, except for the note he pinned to the wall. There'd be a little hole in that spot now.

* * *

It had enraged her when her father made the request. She fought it as best she could, but he'd send one of _his_ people to do it if she wouldn't. _"My people have no reason to lie," _he said. _"Aragaki clearly does."_

All she had to do was find any physical evidence - a scrap of paper, or a receipt from a restaurant that correlated with the places they had followed Shinjiro's path. None of the places they had spotted him proved to be a proper hideout, however, so their real location was yet to be discovered. She knew he wouldn't have anything, however, and if she just _did it_, she could convince her father that he was trustworthy. And even if he was keeping secrets... _ he'll bring them home. He's Akihiko's voice of reason. And she's so in love with Akihiko, she'll have no choice but to follow. Or, at the very least...Shinjiro's feelings for her will overtake him and bring her home. _

But, she found them. Not in a coat pocket, but tucked underneath his pillow. As if they were something precious. It was so very wrong to take them, but she was just..._so very angry._

She had been by Akihiko's side for years. He had followed her like a puppy, but now he just decided to _take off._ _ Fine. It's fine. He's impulsive, and I'm going to be married off anyway. She's a good person, and he needs someone to take care of him. _ But...Shinjiro, too? She thought he was just coveting what his friend had, as they did when they were kids. Covet, but never even _think_ of taking.

They were handmade, certainly. There were flaws in the workmanship. And she had been _with_ Hamuko when she purchased the knitting needles. Mitsuru had scolded her for trying to take on more than was healthy, but she was just so enamored with the idea, she had to at least _try_ to knit. _"I just want to make something with my own two hands and wear it."_

_ And that's what she's been doing with herself? She abandoned our mission and everyone around her to knit?! _

So when she heard Yamagishi sobbing from the floor below, Mitsuru wanted to hide. She felt instant regret that her actions were causing pain. The only thing she could do was confront it, so when she went down to Shinjiro's room, door wide opened, and Fuuka pointed to the wall while trying to stifle her sobs, she wasn't surprised by the message:

_"Give me back my fucking gloves."_


	5. Don't Touch Me

Admittedly, Shinjiro hadn't been concerning himself too much with the hacking plans, and instead occupied himself trying to figure out how to rig up cooking beyond a hot plate and a microwave. He had been entirely wrong about them living in an apartment, instead, they had holed up in a warehouse on the far edge of town. While most of the warehouse wasn't climate-controlled, the offices, locker room, and break room still had electricity and running water. To his relief, there was an ample supply of fresh fruits and vegetables in their possession, but Shinjiro tired quickly of instant rice of questionable origins.

That morning, Hamuko had grabbed someone's white shirt as her primary attire - and Shinjiro couldn't determine whose it was. It was baggy on her, for sure, and covered to the tops of her thighs, but he couldn't determine if the fit indicated Akihiko's or Shinjiro's. She acted as if she hadn't the time to get dressed properly, as she was waiting for a signal from Jin to begin a data transfer. "The transfer will leave our location wide open to be intercepted, so I've got to get my side started as soon as he gives the go-ahead," she explained as she devoured her breakfast. He had been paying more attention to her thighs than her talking, however, and reached over and gave it a squeeze. She slapped his hand with a smirk, mischievous, yet the blow still stung, so he yelped. Akihiko chuckled as he poured himself some coffee. Shinjiro decided he had found his new hobby - pestering Hamuko in ways that made Akihiko laugh.

Based on Hamuko's energy, he felt like he should have been more excited, but considering they didn't know exactly what information they would be receiving, he didn't know what kind of excited he should be. It felt strange that he felt more confident about this _other arrangement_ than he did the information gathering mission, but the mission didn't give coy smiles or pecks on the cheek or lingering looks that made him feel like he was going in the right direction.

It was a few hours later when her phone pinged, and she started typing furiously on her computer. He thought it was a bit strange that she had her Evoker right next to the keyboard, but when he asked Akihiko about it, he just shrugged. "Think it's a bit of a tick. Like a ritual, like when you check for your phone, wallet, and keys before you leave the door. She checks for her Evoker before doing big stuff in the Dark Hour, so kinda like that."

"That's kinda hot."

"It's really hot."

They killed time by doing the workout routine Akihiko had devised to use the warehouse space, and it didn't even bother Shinjiro when Akihiko would correct his form. He didn't analyze exactly why it had bothered him in the past, he just let it be okay that it didn't bother him _now._ Before they could finish wind sprints, however, Hamuko stuck her head out of the office and hollered, "The jig is up!"

They heard a door slam, and Fuuka and Mitsuru appeared before them. Mitsuru looked furious, Fuuka, confused.

"Explain yourselves," Mitsuru demanded as she strode towards the boys. "And where is she?!"

"Over here!" Hamuko called. "Visual portion of my presentation is on the computer."

Mitsuru stormed over to the office, Akihiko following close behind. Shinjiro turned to Fuuka.

"Senpai...I don't understand," she began, wringing her hands. "Why...why did you leave?"

He gave her a look.

"I - I mean, I understand the invasion of privacy, it was completely out of line, but I don't -" She had been scanning the warehouse, searching for some sort of explanation, and her eyes locked on to one of the side rooms. The futon was still a mess, and that's when he remembered that Hamuko usually picked it up and hung it up to air out. The futon, with a mess of blankets, and three pillows.

Fuuka started shaking when she saw that. "Why...why..."

"Yamagishi, they're gonna talk this out, and it'll all be over soon."

"Why would you choose _this?! Akihiko and Hamuko _are already together, what even is...is..." Her breathing was rapid, her eyes dating around for some sort of answer or escape.

"You're gonna hyperventilate, take it easy," he put a hand on her shoulder to steady her.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she shrieked, and backed away, clutching her head.

_What the...oh. Oh no. Oh no oh no. _

_"_ Yamagishi, I -" Before he could finish his sentence, Fuuka screamed. A blinding light and the sound of shattering glass deafened him. His head exploded in pain from the blow, sharp, and he could barely make out the beams of the ceiling before his vision went to black.

"No, no, nononono!"

"Shinji!"

"Make way!" Glass shattered again. All he could feel was cold, and the sharp pain receding to a dull roar.

"An ambulance is on it's way!"

"Wake up, wake up, please wake up! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry..."


	6. A Ghost of Herself

More worn down than she'd ever felt before, Mitsuru turned to Takeba, Yamagishi, Iori, Aigis, and Koromaru to begin her grim task.

"Thank you all for coming. The last few days have been...painful, for us all, so it only seems right to set forth all of the available information at this time. Tomorrow is the Full Moon, and I hope this data will at least help you all prepare accordingly.

"On October 1st, the location of Arisato, Sanada, and Aragaki were discovered through the use of Kirijo Group connections." _Spies_ would have been too on-the-nose. _Tails _or _investigators_ would have been more accurate, but the level of distrust that the words implied put her back in Shinjiro's room, staring at the note.

"Yamagishi and I used our powers to pinpoint their exact location and confront them." Fuuka already had tears brimming in her eyes, so she buried her head in her hands. It dug a needle into Mitsuru's stomach.

"The encounter became...heated, and Aragaki was injured in the process. Arisato's quick work prevented it from becoming fatal, but Aragaki will still be hospitalized for an indeterminate amount of time."

The smallest heave escaped Fuuka. Yukari put a hand on her arm. Mitsuru knew she deserves no such comfort.

"However...it seems that the injury itself was not the full extent of the situation. During treatment, the doctor's discovered Aragaki's heart to be in a weakened state. It was...at first assumed to be a side effect of the suppressants. Upon further inspection, there is evidence foul play was involved."

Everyone snapped to attention, sinking more daggers into her. "At the same time, the Kirijo Group became aware of a partial breach of sensitive data. The attack was being executed by Jin's hacking group, and the information uncovered revealed information not even known about by my father. The data revealed Ikutsuki to be one of the last members of a small group of radical scientists within the Kirijo Group. They saw no need to follow ethical guidelines and expanded the Group's tendencies to test children with traumatic backgrounds for the Potential. They found ways to conduct additional experiments to see what additional stressors would cause. In particular, they would look for data around trauma types and powers manifested in particular."

She took a deep breath as her mouth went dry. "One of such experiments took place on...Akihiko and Shinjiro. At the time of their initial recruitment, there had been a caretaker stationed in the dorms to preform normal maintenance and cooking. This caretaker was taking compensation from the radicals and..."

She wanted to vomit. "Dosing Shinjiro with a toxin. As Shinjiro and Akihiko both experienced the loss of Miki, it seemed to be an experiment of how one's physical condition affected their Persona ability." She dug her nails into her palm, unclear if her bleeding or retching would be more unbecoming. "Six months after the beginning of the experiment, Shinjiro encountered Ken Amada and his mother being attacked by Shadows. Shinjiro tried to save them, but Ken's mother tragically died in the incident due to Shinjiro's inability to control Castor. And with that, their hypothesis was proven correct."

"What the fuck?" Junpei swore, grabbing his thigh until his knuckles went white.

"He promptly left S.E.E.S. after that, and the experiment ended. Years later Ken was tested for the Potential per Ikutsuki's orders and was proven to have it. Most recent data, including recordings collected by Arisato, show that he intended to introduce the two and then reveal the truth to Ken, as an experiment."

"Of what?!" Junpei growled.

_Good. The others' frozen expressions are worse. _ "To see what would happen. Arisato had begun investigating things she perceived to be loose ends before this and decided to act to prevent the experiment from ever occurring. She and Akihiko felt....felt the Group's opacity about certain issues would prove dangerous, and engaged with Jin's group to set diversions to allow data extraction to occur under the radar. In that, they were only partially successful."

"But what about Shinjiro?!" Yukari pressed, squeezing Fuuka's arm tighter.

"R-right. I apologize. He will have a long recovery ahead of him, but doctors are confident the damage can be repaired, and he can live a fairly normal life from now on." Fuuka finally stopped shaking.

"On October 2nd, Father's security went to apprehend Ikutsuki, but he was nowhere to be found. Most of his personal information and effects disappeared as well, but there was enough on work terminals to extract what we know, in addition to other members' carelessness. Father has now instigated a shakedown of the entire organization to find any remaining members and extract the information they have. I assure you that this monstrous attitude toward human life will no longer be tolerated." She was nearly a husk at this point, happy to be blown away.

Koromaru whined.

"He would like to know where Arisato-san and Sanada-san are," Aigis translated.

"Currently, they are at the hospital with Shinjiro. They respect that, at this time, emotions are high and that their return would cause distress. However, Arisato sent a letter along for me to read."

She glanced up to check for protests. There were none. She found some comfort that, if she had to continue, it was somebody else's words.

_ "I deeply apologize for the distress my actions have caused these past few weeks. I will not ask for forgiveness, but I will hope that you all understand that my actions came from a place of fear and frustration. My goal is always to protect all of you, and the circumstances around our missions were proving to be incompatible with keeping you all safe. Dramatic action seemed the only effective course at the time. _

_ I will be by your side tomorrow, as will Akihiko. Despite any ill-will you may harbor towards us, your safety is always more important. In the end, we intended on returning, we always did, and we had and still do have every intention of re-earning the right to live in the dorms again. We know we have done terrible damage to the trust you put in us, and we will do what it takes to at least lessen that. _

_ My greatest regret is not being able to get more information out of the situation. I still feel partially blind to the dangers that lie ahead, but I want to move forward with the hope that all can understand just how serious I am about ensuring this team's safety. _

_We miss you all. We want to come home, but only on your terms."_

"Back? They...think they deserve back, after all of this?" Yukari shook her head.

"But...they were right. For a good part, at least. And Shinjiro's alive. He's going to recover." Fuuka nodded vehemently to Junpei's statements.

"It doesn't stop that they left!" Yukari rebutted.

"It doesn't change what I did, either," Fuuka said, a ghost of herself.

Mitsuru scoffed. The room jumped. "What you did, Fuuka, ended up saving him. I'm the one to blame for putting his life at risk in the first place." Tears were brimming in Mitsuru's eyes, but she didn't know where they could come from. There couldn't possibly be anything left of her. "If I'd never approached Akihiko in the first place, then Shinjiro wouldn't have joined. I served him up on a _platter_ to be experimented on."

Koromaru growled.

"This is fruitless," Aigis said, not unkindly. "There is no ultimate place to assign blame in S.E.E.S., and no one acted out of malice, only ignorance."

"Maybe we should drop it all," Junpei said desperately. "Just say everyone made mistakes, and leave it at that."

"Everyone? We didn't do anything! Neither did Koro or Ai-chan!" Yukari retorted.

"Isn't that worse?!" Junpei exploded. "Our leader had concerns, and we didn't take her seriously! She's been busting her ass since she came to this town to try and help, and just because we thought she sounded a _little_ paranoid, we turned our backs!"

"She was babbling about flowers!"

"Oh, so she summons mythical creatures and gods every night, and that all tracks, but a creepy kid delivers her a prophecy and that's where you draw the line?"

"Speaking of the flowers," Aigis cut in. "The poison one in the backyard was Ikutsuki. The three, Strega. What of their whereabouts?"

Junpei sighed. "Jin's flew the coop. He left a message for Chidori to not follow him, but from what she can tell, he found some information that he deleted immediately and started packing his bags. Not even Takaya could get him to tell him what was going on, so they're...kinda up a creek. Jin did most of the heavy lifting, with the website and their connections and whatnot."

Koromaru gave a short yip. "Correct, Koromaru. At least, for the time being, the threats have been subdued. Not necessarily uprooted."

"It's enough for the time," Mitsuru said, regaining some sense of herself. "Additionally, Father hasn't ruled out entirely bringing Amada into the fold. He fears what could happen if Ken isn't taught to control his Persona, however, he is fully in agreement with informing him on the entirety of the situation. Considering Shinjiro's current state, I think it's fair to assume the truth won't unsettle him too dramatically."

Koromaru whined. His concern was obvious even to the non-robots.

"Then, I want them back," Junpei said with a nod. "We've been able to handle everything else together, if they're back at the dorms too, somehow we can figure out how to help Ken-kun."

Yukari stared at her hands. "I miss them. I don't...I don't know if I can forgive them, but it's not right. I can't keep coming back to the dorm without hearing Senpai's, _'Where have you been?'"_

"I must admit distress at not being able to keep track of Hamuko-san's whereabouts," Aigis added.

"Then, maybe I should leave," Fuuka croaked. "They won't want me. Not after what I've done."

"That is untrue," Mitsuru said. At least, this she could give her. "One of the first things Akihiko asked about is if you were okay. Hamuko passed along a message from Shinjiro as well, during one of his more lucid moments. He...apologized. For not understanding your distress. He had been aware something was clearly wrong for a few weeks, but he found himself unable to determine how to help. He blames his cowardice for not just asking you directly."

Fuuka choked again, and Yukari wrapped her in a hug.

"Then, I believe it's decided," Mitsuru said, unsure how she was still standing. Her body didn't feel like her own. "I will send word along to Akihiko and Hamuko to come home as soon as possible. We - we can't face tomorrow alone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH THANK NYX THIS IS OVER MAYBE I CAN BREATHE AGAIN


End file.
